Inspired by a Survivor: The Making of Crying on the Inside: The Life and Journey of Lily Mazur Margules
By: Viviane Masters
I do not remember when I first learned about the Holocaust. From a young age, though, I had heard stories about World War II because both of my parents are from Europe and their parents lived through the war. My French grandfather did not have to fight on the frontlines because he had already lost three brothers in war and my grandmother would tell stories of the Nazis taking anything they wanted from her family farm. But the atrocities perpetrated during World War II against the Jews, Roma and Sinti, and many other groups, I only learned about in school. Fortunately, I was afforded an excellent public school education, which allowed me to study both European history and the Holocaust extensively. When I continued on to college, as a French and History major, I learned even more about the atrocities committed during the Nazi era, especially in an Eastern European History course I took in the fall of 2007.
It was for this course that I attended a seminar at which two Holocaust survivors, Martin Spett and Gisela Glaser, shared their experiences and presented their video interviews with Manhattan College students. Despite all that I had learned about the Holocaust, throughout high school and college, nothing compared to hearing the stories from the survivors themselves. I was greatly moved by the strength and endurance of the two survivors and immediately wanted to know how I could get involved with continuing the project to preserve their lives and stories. With the help and encouragement of Dr. Horn, I was selected to interview Lily Mazur Margules over the summer of 2008.
After the spring semester finished, I began the project by researching the Holocaust and reading the book that Lily wrote about her life entitled Memories, Memories: From Vilna to New York with a Few Stops Along the Way. In late June, Lily and I arranged to meet for the first time to discuss the questions I would be asking her during the interview and certain points that she would like to focus on in her story. I must admit, I was extremely nervous to meet Lily. First, this would be my first ever recorded interview. More importantly, though, I felt almost unworthy to have the opportunity to speak with someone who had lived through one of the darkest moments in human history and worried about the immense responsibility of documenting and portraying her story not only accurately, but in a way that she would be proud of. But as soon as I met Lily, all of my anxiety melted away. She was so warm and energetic, despite the morose memories that she would soon need to conjure up. Lily was also full of pride to be a grandmother for the first time and she showed me baby pictures of her first and only grandson Noah. She later decided to dedicate her video interview to him.
When we finally sat down to talk about the interview, I was greatly impressed by Lily's dedication to sharing her life story. Lily is both the President of the Manhattan Chapter of Women Holocaust Survivors and the editor of the publication "Voice of the Woman Survivor." In addition to having written her memoir, she had already participated in Steven Spielberg's video interviews conducted in the early 1990s. She continues to keep a busy schedule sharing her experiences at schools, colleges, and teachers' seminars. Thus, Lily understands how essential it is to pass on her story and she hopes that by doing so, especially young people, will learn from what she went through and grow to build a better world. When I learned all this, I was even more honored to be a part of Lily's goal to record her life and message to be passed on to future generations even after she is gone.
Both Lily and I wanted to get started with the filming as soon as possible. About one week after our first meeting, Glynnis O'Shea, who filmed the interview, and I went to Lily's home to begin filming. Though we offered her many breaks over the course of the three and a half hours of filming, Lily never took one. She was determined and wanted to tell her story in the fullest detail in one sitting, no matter how long or difficult it would be for her. It was truly a unique opportunity to experience history through the heart and soul of a survivor. Though I had already read her memoir, it was incredible to hear her story come alive, as if she was living through it again in that moment. Sitting there alongside her, it was almost impossible to imagine that she had gone through all that she did. I remember thinking how unfathomable it is that such a kind and intelligent person could have experienced such terrible things. It was astounding to think of the perseverance that it took for her and many others to live through the violence and hate of the Nazi era. At one point, when Lily was describing the March of the Living Dead, she said that they could do nothing, so they were "crying on the inside." This statement touched me and I felt it would be an appropriate title for the film. What moved me most during the making of the video interview was Lily's optimism, hope in the future generations, and dedication to sharing her story. During the war, she could not understand why the world was silent, so today she refuses to be silent and speaks out about the atrocities that she lived through.
After filming the video interview with Lily, I was faced with my most difficult challenge: editing. Over the next several weeks, I would need to find a way to preserve Lily's story, while cutting it down from three and a half hours of film to no longer than fifty-five minutes. Lily was an incredibly engaging and articulate speaker and almost every minute of film could have been used. I soon found myself watching the tapes over and over again without being able to cut anything out. In my mind, I was responsible for preserving her story for posterity and every word that Lily spoke was an invaluable piece of her testament. It very much distressed me to alter her story in any way and I made my greatest attempt to retain the fundamental experiences and messages of her story. When I expressed my concerns to Dr. Horn, he said that this was the essence of history. His response was eye-opening. If all history stands the chance of being altered in some way, then I am proud to be a part of a project that ensures that the truth of the Holocaust remains part of history and is passed down for generations.
Participating in this project was a unique opportunity that not many people have or will be able to have. For those who are interested in continuing this project or simply donating to our effort, I strongly urge you to do so. With Holocaust survivors growing older, it is crucial to record the truth of all that they endured. Survivors, like Lily, continue to do their part by speaking out and educating people about the Holocaust. We must make sure that their efforts continue to be worthwhile even after they are gone. I have learned so much from Lily, both about the Holocaust and about life. Most importantly, she has inspired me to never give up in life, to always hold your head high, and to never let another's hatred take away your humanity. Lily and her story have left an imprint on my life, and I hope that those who watch her film in the years to come will learn from it and never forget.